i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
