You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Randomize
