So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
