My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
