i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
