People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
