Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
