I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
