either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
