fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
