I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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