i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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