Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
