Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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