she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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