I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So much rum. So many feels.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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