Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
