Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
