i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
