Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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