somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
