on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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