Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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