i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
