Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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