I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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