just tell him i said nine months
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
