He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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