Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
