I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
