This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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