i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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