Need sex. Gaining weight.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
