hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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