i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
