drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
