do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
