We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize