And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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