Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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