i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
