The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize