he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I deserve this hangover.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
