So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize