2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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