Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
