Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
