On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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