Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
