I never want to see another naked old woman again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
