Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
