He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The air was thick with penises
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
