I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
