Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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