Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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